The Compass

I come from a VERY loving family. We do genuinely talk to each other, challenge each other, and most importantly love each other for their faults. I can't say enough great things about my family. Why do I need to HAMMER this subject home? My Father, and still my hero, brought us up to ALWAYS believe in family. Without family, one can get lost very quickly, and with family, one can find their way home again.

I was brought up to believe that one could not only have a family but build one as well. "Surround yourself with like minded people, who believe in your same values. It is okay to be the smartest in the room from time to time, make sure to mentor. But when you can, be the dumbest one in the room and listen closely. But make sure at all costs you all share the same values." In those teachings I was lead to believe that I could find a 'brotherhood' in the military, and protect my country at the same time. No greater honor on this planet.

So joined for better or worse. I'll spare you my version of my 5 years.

I did come home with PTSD, no matter how hard I tried to fight it.

I lived several years barely able to leave my house but to go to work and get black out drunk, not remembering how I got home from the night before. At this amazing bar I got to meet so many wonderfully amazing humans, a couple of dirt bags as well. I got the very fortunate pleasure of getting to meet a nationally ranked Ju Jitsu grappler, who was also a prier marine. Him and one of his great friends, also a SUPER badass, befriended me, even offered me some training.

One day I was at their dojo, knowing I had to get on a flight in a few days, NOT wanting to fly, scared some terrorist would be on that flight. I look at the two of them and mention my lack of desire to fly, as they both very quickly start laughing at me. Both were aware of my PTSD, and being bother's in arms, quickly defused everything.

Ju Jitsu Coach : Kenny, have we not explained your compass?

Me: What?

Buddy: LOL...your compass has been adjusted by 10 degrees

Me: Hmmm? What are you talking about?

Coach: You come from a good family? You believed in your country and all of Her freedoms.

Me: Yeah

Buddy: Not only did you meet your Country's enemy, but saw that your leaders weren't really leaders? You saw how are emery's think, how patient they are. Hence, why you were sent to the schools you were sent too. Why you trained as hard as you do. Why you are very vigilant. Sorry bro, you're kind of a badass. (That was so humbling coming from another hero of mine.)

Me: Yeah?

Coach: Your compass was reset 10 degrees from what you were before your military life. You saw behind the curtain and your true north was reset. But in that you are smarter, more disciplined, stronger, and an American warrior. Why would someone like you be afraid to get on a plane inside the continental United States?

Buddy: Right? Thats funny! Quit messing with us! I know when I get on a flight I think, "Wouldn't it be hilarious if some terrorist pulled a piece of glass or a box knife on me?" Bro, don't you pray that you still protect this country?

Me: Yeah

Buddy: Hey wait!! When are you leaving? Who is going to pour us drinks?

Thanks to these two men, I was freed and protected all at the same time. I no longer fear flying, before I would get drunk enough to just stumble on the plane. Now I might have a beer while waiting for my flight. I understood that there is inner strength still in me, and a fight left in me, a good one. But it was finally explained to me how I am different.

Those suffering from PTSD have had their compass adjust by 10 degrees. They are NOT broken. We just see the world a little differently. My navigation skills are still spot on!!!